Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts
by retrogradation
Summary: Bella Swan is starting her life anew, with a new job, a new group of friends, and a new, extraordinarily hot green-eyed neighbor. Edward Cullen has a terrible reputation at work, deemed "Mr Dick" quite aptly. After an encounter in the laundry room puts the two of them in a compromising position, how will Bella react when she finds out that Mr. Sex, as she'd deemed him, is her BOSS?


Hey all! It's Amelea! I've decided to start a new story again - a fresh start, if you will. I promise this story will be completed - I've got a plot set up already, so I hope you all will enjoy!

This story is AH; pairing is ExB; mostly canon couples.

Full Summary: After a terrible breakup with her ex, Bella Swan is hoping to start her life anew in Seattle with a new job, a new group of friends, and a new, extraordinarily hot green-eyed neighbor. On the other hand, Edward Cullen has a terrible reputation at work, deemed "Mr. Dick," quite aptly. After an encounter in the laundry room shakes the two of them up - in more ways than one - they find themselves in a very compromising position…only to get more complicated when Bella shows up at work to realize he's…her _boss_.

Disclaimer: As usual, I do not own anything you recognize from Stephenie Meyer's novels.

**Chapter 1: If you were there, Beware**

* * *

_Thunk. Thunk. Thunk._

My hair stuck unattractively to my face as I made my way up the stairs, dragging a box of CDs and books with me. The cardboard box's contents shifted around and slid back and forth; my sneakers squeaked as I cursed again at whomever had the courtesy to break the fucking elevator just a day before I had decided to move.

_Damn_. Why did I tell Jake I could manage on my own again?

Oh right…because Leah dragged him out to shop for wedding cakes. Biting my lip, I looked at my own bare ring-finger and sighed at the thought of my friends getting married without me…I had always wished to find "the one" during my years in college (that's what I get for reading too many romance novels), and always dreamt of marrying right before my thirties. Unfortunately, James had proved to be less than husband material two years into our relationship…thank goodness I left him, or I would have never decided to apply for a transfer to my new job at Seattle's Torchwood Publishing House…I had never dreamed of being junior editor at such a large and successful company, though my time for romance, now, was severely limited. _Six years left Bells, and then you're gonna hit the thirties. _

I pushed these unpleasant thoughts of my ex out of my head and counted the stairs that I still had left. Two…four…six…and then a short walk down the second-floor hallway. Grudgingly making my way up, I could feel my sweat slide down the back of my tshirt…jeez, today was hot.

Hhhngg. _Okay. Two more left. Bella. You can do this! _

Wow I can't believe I've resorted to giving myself pep talks - I guess this was what I got for living with my mom for the last two years of high school. Unfortunately, my optimism was short lived. I could feel the box slipping away from my sweaty fingers before it began its graceful descent down these ungodly stairs.

It tumbled down a few steps and stopped when it hit a stair rail. Sighing and simultaneously feeling pretty glad that I had taped these boxes up pretty well, I gathered my arms around the box and began lugging it up the last two stairs. When I finally reached the top, I smiled a little proudly at myself. Last box, _check_. I was done!

Lost in my own joy, I didn't realize that the door I was standing in front of had creaked open without my knowledge. I turned around and began to push my box towards the other door a little way down the hall, but halted in my steps when I caught sight of…

_hair._

And not just anybody's hair. It was very attractive hair. Very attractive, brownish auburn, untamed man-hair. Not the kind on the legs or chest or…you know, but on someone's head. A…very attractive head. With a very attractive face. With some very attractive sea-green eyes which- were…blatantly staring at me.

"Hello," (said the glorious sex-hair owner to the female troll on his doorstep.)

_This is pretty damn awkward. _"Um," I mumbled intelligently, "hisorryIwasjust…moving…sorry I don't mean to block your door…I mean…I'm just going to move out of your way…" Well, shit.

I gave up and decided to keep my mouth shut while it was still working at becoming coherent, and just went for a tight lipped smile, hoping that he would not notice that the back of my shirt had a large, unpleasant sweat stain. Why didn't I brush my hair this morning before gathering it up into a messy, floppy ponytail? _Oh right, it's not every day that I want to impress a guy who says "hello" in such a panty-dropping way that it should be deemed illegal._

He didn't seem to acknowledge my mental freak-out, but smiled back instead, instantaneously giving me the urge to decompose into a flesh colored puddle of Bella.

"I knew you were moving in this week - Dr. Watson next door had told me that I would have a new neighbor before he had left for Dublin."

"Oh." …And out comes another intelligent statement. _Good going, you pathetic excuse of an English major,_ I criticized myself. Then I was momentarily distracted…his teal shirt really brought out his green eyes. "Yeah…I was just about finished, actually."

"You sounded like you needed some help down there." His tone was mildly teasing and his left lip twitched up in a smirk,

"Oh no, it was just this last box. I'm pretty capable of lifting all these by myself…you know, big muscles and all," I halfheartedly tried to joke, pointing at my gangly arms. My eyes were fixated on a spot between his forehead and his left eyebrow; I tried to avoid making eye contact with this beautiful godlike male specimen.

_Please don't look at the back of my shirt. Please don't look at the back of my shirt. Oh fuck - do I smell? Thank god I slapped on some deodorant before I headed out this morning._

"Well I'm glad you survived your way up. I'm so sorry I didn't hear you coming until I heard that box drop" he scratched the nape of his neck, and as a result, one of his sleeves rode up. I tried not to ogle his obviously toned arms. "I would have offered to help out earlier, but had my music on pretty loudly," he grinned apologetically.

"Don't worry about it," I shifted the box out of his way and shoved it unceremoniously into my door, "it wasn't that difficult"

"I'm sorry. Ah, where are my manners?" He chuckled, "I forgot to introduce myself. Hi, I'm Edward."

He reaches out his hand and I shake it, willing myself not to tremble or do anything embarrassing,

"I'm Bella."

"An incredibly fitting name for such a beautiful girl," he jokes, and I am instantly putty in the hallway. Wow this is pretty terrible._ I really need to get laid. Soon. _My thoughts are disrupted as Edward furrows his eyebrows and glances at me, confused.

"I'm sorry…what did you just say?"

* * *

Oh poor Bella…her word vomit's quite the problem. Ehehe (chuckles evilly)

Evil plots and sex-hair aside, I'm quite excited about this story! It will be a little different from my old ones, and I _might_ work up the courage to write a lemon or two in the future. The title is a song by the Arctic Monkeys, if anyone is wondering. **On updates: **I will probably be updating once a week (no guarantees though, but I will do my best to be consistent. Sometimes the updates might be sooner, if I know that I won't be able to do them the week after.)

Love, Amz


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